tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post7827236925520056517..comments2024-03-03T16:35:25.083-05:00Comments on Marian's Roots and Rambles: Why Do I Hold Back?Marianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04738104230962644360noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-48260748131064829012011-12-04T01:32:12.285-05:002011-12-04T01:32:12.285-05:00I'm the exact same way. We had a famiy reunion...I'm the exact same way. We had a famiy reunion this summer, and I was around relatives I haven't seen in 20+ years. The whole time I wanted to talk to people, ask questions, get new info. I did manage to talk to a couple people but nothing sitting down where I could take notes, and I had nothing to write with and forgot everything I was told because I have to write things down to remember them. So I feel your pain/shyness/frustration.ironhide781https://www.blogger.com/profile/09601001912310870173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-9306946449979553102011-12-03T11:01:37.824-05:002011-12-03T11:01:37.824-05:00This is a great topic especially for the holiday s...This is a great topic especially for the holiday season when we spend more time with family. I have been actively talking to my family for the last four years. I say talking because I learned early on that approach was more effective. I take notes rather than use a recorder. My suggestion is that before you go gorilla, think about who your audience will be and what approach would be the best fit. As I documented what I learned, I give them short write-ups for us to review together and they provide edits. This process usually brings forth new memories. Now, every time we get together, a box or large envelope packed with old family documents is brought out without me asking. Alas, I cannot keep anything, it must be scanned (yes I bring a scanner and camera) and I get things piecemeal. But I am getting information!Denise Hibsch Richmondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02201038245364402882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-55432808693069531832011-12-03T07:25:43.087-05:002011-12-03T07:25:43.087-05:00Marian, I've done exactly the same thing. I d...Marian, I've done exactly the same thing. I don't know why it's so hard. Part of my problem is that I have a sister who is relentless and I prefer to take a more subtle approach. If I know that she has talked to someone, I tend to not want to assault them too. I have missed some opportunities and regret it. My father died when I was 10 so I didn't know him very well. He has two living siblings, twins - they are my last connection to my father. One took a stroke a few years ago but the other has been in fairly good health all along. I live on the East Coast and he lives on the West Coast. Did I call him. No. He is now 89, is hospitalized and not expected to live. Another opportunity gone! Another issue is that sometimes I would just like to be a participant instead of the organizer. I'd like to be in pictures instead of the the one taking them. I'd like to chat about current stuff instead of stuff that is long gone - in other words I'd like to live my life for me and form relationships with people that don't involve me interrogating them and promising to send them pictures or information and thereby taking on another commitment. Their commitment ends when the conversation stops or the photo is taken. Mine continues long after the event or visit is over. I haven't yet found a happy medium but if I don't soon, the older generation in my family will be gone. Then who will I ask? :)Pamela Wilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16870487902514673264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-69363747893138510112011-12-02T21:37:56.308-05:002011-12-02T21:37:56.308-05:00I didn't know "it burns me up" was a...I didn't know "it burns me up" was a Pittsburgh idiom. My mom, who grew up in Trumbull County, Ohio, used it quite often, too.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12136584654825212359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-30222223092999633802011-12-02T20:09:21.880-05:002011-12-02T20:09:21.880-05:00I must be a hybrid - I can't bring myself to u...I must be a hybrid - I can't bring myself to use a tape recorder, but I've found it easy to get my older relatives and in-laws to talk about their childhoods and the family members that they remember. I do understand your reticence - I'm also afraid that that microphone will just make them clam up.Greta Koehlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05429623811794360612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-49013030910177554692011-12-02T19:43:23.161-05:002011-12-02T19:43:23.161-05:00Joan, I will try harder to channel my inner Che :)...Joan, I will try harder to channel my inner Che :)Marianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04738104230962644360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-18331254515628444622011-12-02T19:42:00.284-05:002011-12-02T19:42:00.284-05:00Susi - we always thought those were Pittsburgh exp...Susi - we always thought those were Pittsburgh expressions because that's where my mother came from and people didn't say stuff like that in Connecticut! I had no idea is was more widespread.Marianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04738104230962644360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-85716879028242621002011-12-02T19:41:44.951-05:002011-12-02T19:41:44.951-05:00Marian, I am close to being the oldest generation ...Marian, I am close to being the oldest generation in my family, and I did not get my grandmother's and mother's stories. Everyone else in the family had passed on -- grandparents, my father, uncles and aunts. I do have one elder aunt, whom I have interviewed. Perhaps you could set up some individual time with your aunt and uncle, and interview them, using a digital audio recorder. They are so small as to be unobtrusive, not like a huge old tape-recorder. They also pick up very well, so that you can set it aside where it will not be in the center of their view. Decide ahead of time what you would like to learn about from them. I did not get the stories when I should have, and now all that is left is the little I can remember.Karen Packard Rhodeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07641711434283636830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-46738038454231481142011-12-02T17:01:12.244-05:002011-12-02T17:01:12.244-05:00Well Marian, the consensus above seems to be "...Well Marian, the consensus above seems to be "go for it" - and indeed, why not? This is your passion, and vocation! Start off with "I don't want to be like Mom was, bugging you with lots of questions..." BUT, record and interview them, anyway! <br />I do wish I had some elderly relatives to record... all gone before I got into genealogy, I'm afraid. I get tiny bits of details when talking with cousins at funerals these days.Celia Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04096301290962083820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-41776959671989628252011-12-02T15:39:53.921-05:002011-12-02T15:39:53.921-05:00I haven't done actual recording, but I have ta...I haven't done actual recording, but I have talked with my aunt, who has very different memories of her grandmother than the memories that my mother has. Take advantage, while you can, of the chance to get a different perspective on your family's history.Elizabeth Handlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05529452862369140506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-26456497253761385312011-12-02T15:32:47.216-05:002011-12-02T15:32:47.216-05:00I have whipped out the recorder, and guess what ev...I have whipped out the recorder, and guess what everyone was ok with it. The important part is to lead up to it, explain what your doing, be honest and upfront. And guess what, the reception will be warm. Most people love talking about themselves and sharing their journey, their just waiting for someone to ask. I've interviewed over 80 people for a family history book, either one on one, or through email and telephone interviews, and 90% of the time, people are very generous.Lynn Palermohttp://www.thearmchairgenealogist.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-45432455018180849572011-12-02T14:03:12.723-05:002011-12-02T14:03:12.723-05:00Come on, girl, be the Che Guevera of the Genealogy...Come on, girl, be the Che Guevera of the Genealogy set --- always carry your backpack of recorders, forms, pens and stuff --- you dinna even have to go so far as a camouflage backpack, go pink with Che GeneaGirl cutely stensiled. Sort of tongue in cheek comment, but I'm betting that you are a lot more like your mom than you let on. Go, Girl, Go.Joanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07948553013206247354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-62249890054230600792011-12-02T12:56:50.251-05:002011-12-02T12:56:50.251-05:00I can relate. Just be at like to nike commercial a...I can relate. Just be at like to nike commercial and JUST DO IT! That's my motto and sometimes it helps.<br /><br /> Thanks for the reminder to get my batteries and recorder together for the christmas holiday.Michelle Goodrumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03427355155193196767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-5428780116526709312011-12-02T10:55:59.603-05:002011-12-02T10:55:59.603-05:00I know what you mean. When visiting Grampa (age 9...I know what you mean. When visiting Grampa (age 92) I couldn't bring myself to whip out the recorder. I took notes, but the recorder that I BOUGHT JUST FOR THAT OCCASION stayed in my purse the whole 3 days... Luckily, they are recorded in my head and are being put to paper, but I just couldn't get his voice. I'm sad for that, but I still couldn't do it!Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09823540147699246264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-1217331666555757622011-12-02T10:34:53.150-05:002011-12-02T10:34:53.150-05:00Marian, a comment startled me, a Pittsburg comment...Marian, a comment startled me, a Pittsburg comment, I grew up with it.<br />But our family retained a lot of those sayings even though we had moved far away. I bet they wonder why you did not record or ask especially if your mother did and they know you do. Leave no stone unturned helps.<br /><br />Great write up.Susi's Quarterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722985357289434741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-691016683378293851.post-64171278520204843122011-12-02T10:27:53.859-05:002011-12-02T10:27:53.859-05:00I'm the same way.
I wonder if there was som...I'm the same way. <br /><br />I wonder if there was some event that caused your mom to be the way she was, like maybe someone died before she had a chance to record what they knew...<br /><br />Uncle Bob and Aunt Joan's memories aren't getting any better.<br /><br />I guess we've just got to suck it up and do it. This Christmas, I'm going to take the first steps to rectify this.Scott Jangrohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12303871139163606729noreply@blogger.com